Happily Ever After

September 10, 2015

Movies in the United States and abroad have created ideas about marriage that involve two people "falling in love" and all of their dreams coming true. The story-line is usually a romantic love story with a couple who beats the odds and overcomes the challenges that threaten their relationship. Sometimes in the end, the inseparable couple gets married, and as we all know.. they live happily ever after. But is that what it's like in real life?

Here are some thoughts that run through my mind about life & marriage. It includes ideas that are generally not included in the entertainment industry's portrayal of a perfect marriage:

• Our story did not end after our 'happily ever after' started. We got married on March 5th, 2010 and it was a dream come true for both of us, but it wasn't the end. We had many peak experiences full of excitement & happiness after that, and it was more or less intermixed with just as many 'valleys' (hard times).

• The highlight of our marriage, at least for me, isn't the "falling in love" aspect or all of the dreamy romance filled-type images often displayed on social media or portrayed in romantic love movies. The highlight is getting to know what I misunderstood and misjudged. It's learning and growing, understanding my self more, understanding @emafe more, and understanding the mind, life and reality more. I only came to appreciate and receive these things through trial, error, seeking 'truth' and more or less, marriage.

• In a sense, there is no such thing as a happily after since that would mean that the work in one's marriage was done, but as long as we are not dead, everything we think, do, say and want requires effort and work. Everything is a work in progress and that includes our marriage, so the closest thing to a happily ever after, besides a few moments that feel like a happily ever after, is constant renewal.

• Getting married, living one's dreams, and having beautiful moments will always come with low moments too. Every positive I have experienced in marriage and in life, was eventually offset with an equally negative aspect. For a young adult or teenager, it is not always obvious that our positive experiences will more or less be balanced out with negative experiences, but now that I am 34 years old and have been married for almost 10 years, I'd say that everything gets balanced out eventually - there is no positive and no negative, reality is neutral and it's just our personal biases that are either positive or negative.

So in summary, Hollywood and International Love Movies portray a very positive experience for lovebirds that meet each other, fall in love and finally settle down. But marriage isn't all positive and neither is life. Life and marriage has a positive side, a negative side, and learning from both and evolving is just about as close to reality and a happily every after as one can get.

December 1, 2017

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Thinking of the Future

Father & Son.

While I write this I am in our room listening to music and bicycling. Zac is sleeping and Fema is browsing the net. The air is cool in our room and there is a slight breeze from the air conditioner where the wall meets the ceiling. I spend time reading and writing everyday and it's a great time to exercise on a stationary bike.

I started to exercise and improve myself after thinking about Zac. I was thinking about his future and I realized he will have a good one if I make good decisions now. So I am changing and adjusting my lifestyle to get healthier. That way I will be able to guide him in living a healthy lifestyle by example.

​To get started I downloaded an app called To-Doist to better organize ​each day. Apps like this are important in this day and age where it's hard to stay focused and distractions abound from Facebook to Instagram. I plan on teaching Zac to check his daily tasks early in life but in order to do that, I need to do it first!

In addition to keeping track of things I started to take an online course on edX to improve the thinking I do and to get advice from world-class teachers. The course I am taking is titled "Philosophy & Critical Thinking". It will help me clarify some of my ideas and should improve my ability to write articles. 

Those are some of the things I am doing to prepare for the future. I will try to remove most of the uncertainty in Zac's life to guarantee that he has a good future. Wish me luck!

A stationary bike!

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When Dreams Come True

Our Santa Baby of Christmas 2017.

Right before you were born I made a decision to stop dreaming. To just live things as they are. I felt like everything I asked for was given to me but that the cost of my dreams were too high, and then you were born. 

You were born a bit preterm but got older. As you got older you got stronger, and now I get to see the sparkle in your eyes when you smile with joy. That’s when it hit me. It actually just hit me today. I can dream again. I can dream again for you. This time I’ll analyze my dreams so that no one will be hurt and so that everyone will benefit. I’ll dream of a better society in the same way I dreamed of you.

You are when dreams come true. I love you, Baby Zac.

The New Year 2018.

Zac's Grandparents and Cousins (Fema's side of the family).

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Davao Crocodile Park

Fema, Zac and I.

I had the joy of going to Crocodile Park here in Davao City with Fema, Zac and a good number of family members. I got to see a monkey ride a bike, ducks marched in a parade, and I saw a crocodile whose mouth stayed open like a statue.

The biggest joy was seeing Fema’s expressions during the animal talent show and seeing the pictures of Zac floating in the arms of his Tatay above the coy fish. I also got to see Papa's reaction to the tall ostriches and I fed the same birds with special food held in my hands.

It's definitely a good experience to get up close and personal with these animals. Like all animals and babies they have a great amount of innocence, especially the friendly ones. I will try to visit more tourist sites and travel more often. That is one thing in life that is worth doing.

Jake, Jon-Jon & Renz at the entrance.

Ate Talanga taking a picture at the selfie-stand.

Fema sitting on a crocodile statue.

The crocodile kept his mouth open like that for 30 to 45 minutes.

A real bird is standing on Papa's hand.

Papa saw an ostrich for the first time.

Fema is feeding an ostrich here.

Jake and Renz are feeding the bunnies.

Mama, Tito Titeng and Tita Flor. Zac is laying down on the left.

This is a YouTube video of our day at Crocodile Park.

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Eden Nature Park

Baby Zac with Tatay.

Together as a family we visited Eden Nature Park with Ate Talanga and Ate Bebe. On the drive over we listened to Ed Sheeren and some of the latest 2017 music mixed up on a USB. The view at the park is spectacular, at least for someone like me who is used to seeing houses and commercial buildings.

The park had some horses inside so the kids and I went horseback riding for the first time. It was a short ride but was long enough to breathe in the fresh air and get a feel of what it's like to ride a horse.

I also captured some stolen shots of the family, we ate spaghetti as a group and took selfies with baby Zac before ending our day with new memories and a fun time. I hope everyone enjoyed the trip as much as I did. Thank you for reading and I hope you like the pictures.

Gathering for a mini-dinner.

Ate Talanga, Mama & Ate Bebe.

I'm riding a horse here.

Jake riding a horse.

Renz riding a horse.

Jon-Jon riding a horse.

Papa riding the line swing.

Mama riding the line swing.

Fema hanging out on the playground.

One of Fema's friends was at Eden Nature Park!

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Thank you, Baby Zac.

Spending time w/baby Zac.

In five days baby Zac will be 3 months old. Every day that he grows older and each month that goes by is another reason to celebrate. He's healthy and strong now with the cutest little laughs and I’m so happy that he’s experiencing joy at such a young age.

I will do my best to maintain good health and use all the resources I have to help raise him. It will be challenging but I believe I am up for the task.

Thank you baby Zac for giving me this opportunity. Thank you for coming into our life, laughing, and of course crying when your hungry so that we can meet your needs. I love you baby Zac and I’m so happy seeing you grow.

Baby Zac is enjoying our time together.

I love Zac's legs and feet :)

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Ford Ecosport in Mars Red

Ford Ecosport in Mars Red.

From this angle, our new car might look like a Honda Fit but it is a Ford Ecosport. It's the car Emafe and I just purchased in order to prepare for Zac's arrival. It makes me happy since it isn't too small but not too big either. I don't understand the validity of climate change and global warming but if any of the claims made by environmental scientists are true, our Ecosport will probably harm the environment less than other cars would.

I didn't think I could ever purchase a brand new car but Emafe helped me do it. That is one of the reasons I am happy to be married to Emafe, the two of us have different strengths. She is industrious and I am good at staying calm. I let her know that it is okay to feel stressed and she instructs me in areas that I am too simple minded to understand on my own.

Thank you for helping me purchase our car Emafe, I love you :)

Emafe and I before going to bed.

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Waking Up

I love you, Emafe :)

Emafe and I went to SM Ecoland again today. And once again it is now part of our weekly routine. Sometimes we visit the mall 3 to 5 times a week. But it is different this time. Instead of just shopping or window shopping we now take time to relax. We still eat at cafe's and restaurants like Blugre but it is now common for the two of us to sit at a nail salon and get a foot massage.

I used to feel guilty whenever I thought about getting a massage. Like I would be wasting money on something that wasn't important. I avoided treating myself for relaxation and self-care. But after years of doing that, the lack of care that I showed myself was visible in my appearance. Not only in the clothes I wore and my personal hygiene but the things I would say and the things I would do.

I am now recovering from years of self-abuse. I hope that unlike me, the world is already taking care of their mind and emotions. Just in case, I'll send a thank you to everyone who is kind. Thank you for being the light of the world.

Our wedding rings.

Husband & Wife.

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Health is Wealth

Grilled Tuna Belly.

At a ripe age of thirty-two I am now starting to get more health conscious. I am eating grounded corn that tastes like rice instead of standard white rice and I usually drink water instead of juice or soft drinks. Sometimes it’s hard to only drink water if people are encouraging me to drink Sprite or Coke during family get togethers but other people have abstained from drinking soft drinks for years, so I can too.

I am also exercising a bit. I started doing 10 push-ups and 20 bicycle crunches a couple months ago and I have more than doubled the repetitions since. I think I will be in decent shape in 2 to 6 months. We'll see! :)

Another thing that helped me was taking photos of healthy food. I still eat unhealthy food sometimes but photographing healthy food on Instagram encourages me to continue a healthy diet. As the saying goes “Health is Wealth” so let’s not spend it all at once.

Pancit Lug-Lug from Jaltan.

Peanuts with a little bit too much salt.

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D'Leonor Inland Resort

Group Photo.

Emafe and I visited D’Leonor here in Davao City the other day. Ten of our family members and one friend went with us. As a group we ate roasted pig and relaxed in the wave pool. It was a cloudy day but it was still a good day to go swimming.

There are a ton of cottages there so a lot of people can fit inside the resort. But on that day there were only a few families there including us. The best part of the resort in terms of photography has to be the dinosaur statues. They look realistic and photograph well.

My biggest happiness was seeing Lungly, Renz and Jake have a good time. All of us had a good time but it’s nice to see that the kids in our presence are able to live a relaxed life and enjoy a beautiful day at D’Leonor, even if it was cloudy.

Dinosaur Statues at D'Leonor Inland Resort & Adventure Park.

The cottages at D'Leonor Resort.

Jake Abello.

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